And it actually really sucks, because I can't contact the person I want to contact right now. so I'm trying to install Telegram now, and it's still loading after like one and a half hour. ;-; Well this sucks.
And right now I don't really know what I'm waiting for again. Like I don't know if the person I'm waiting for is coming back today. Or tomorrow. Or ever, maybe? Anyway, I think I'll just stay up for like 3-4 more hours and if he's not here by then, I guess I could go to bed, because I don't expect him to suddenly be here between 1-2 AM. That'd kinda be weird actually.
Anyway, I don't really know how to feel now. Like I feel like shit (no I'm not going to cry), and I keep thinking about the same stuff over and over again, but just a few minutes ago I was under the shower and I said something, I don't exactly remember what, but I said something like "If my body doesn't do what I want it to do, I will kill it. Even though I made a lifetime promise I wouldn't do that. Okay no killing" and then I can just... Kinda joke with myself? I don't know, it's weird. But I have those times more often, when I don't feel good, but I have a hard time being serious too. It just sucks that I mainly feel like shit.
And whatsapp, really, where the hell did you go?
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