I just realised I'm not 'over' Nienke at all. She was my friend, I hate letting friends go, but I feel like she doesn't understand it at all. I took a shower several hours ago and at that time I really wanted to send my mentor a mail, asking if I could talk to him sometime so I can discuss that, but I know that Nienke just wants me to leave her alone.
Also, yesterday didn't exactly go.. Yeah.. Great, I guess. I feel guilty, and yeah... I feel horrible about it, yet I'm pretty sure I won't act any different tonight, because I never do. I don't even understand myself.
And yeah, I have a cold, still. My eye was all teary yesterday because of it, I guess, but in any case it's fine now, but having a cold really sucks. And Anise was sick today again (she wasn't in school twice), but she came to school today for the first two lessons (PE and PE, yes, two hours of PE ;-; ) and I guess I appreciated it because she's in my group with.. Something, and yeah. But then at some point my teacher made two groups, and he gave everyone a number, 1 or 2. And we were just sitting and Joy and Anise sat on my left side. Then Anise ran to my other side right before my teacher came, so Anise and Joy would be in the same group and I was in the other group. Sweet, yeah, thank you for liking me so much. I like you too. Not. But for real, I was pissed and I'm still pissed at Anise. At first I was pissed at Joy, Anise and Elise (Elise was in their group too, so I was all alone), but then I realised it wasn't Joy's fault, she didn't tell Anise to do that anyway. And Elise wasn't even there at first, so she didn't decide to join Joy and Anise. It was only Anise, so yeah. I'm so fucking pissed at her right now, because it's like... She just threats me less like a friend everyday and I hate it. But I get it, everyone likes Joy most. And hey, I wouldn't like being friends with me either.
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