I don't like feeling like this

I don't even know how to handle it.
I'm still nervous and worried and annoyed. I even feel too nervous to start doing homework, so thank god I don't have to do much. But I also have a test tomorrow, and yeah, I'm just going to screw it up. I'm not even going to try anymore, I'm too tired and nervous to learn right now, I'd forget everything in 3 seconds, if I can even keep my eyes open to read something. I already wonder how I write all of this. Okay, yes I can write with my eyes closed, but still, I prefer to be a 100% sure I wrote the right thing.
And yeah, I'm yawning all the time. Sometimes I think I understand how someone feels (physically), but then when I feel the way they did, I realise I had forgotten how it felt. I also forgot how it felt when I broke my wrist, but I do remember how it felt afterwards. It was like my arm could fly away because it was so light.
Oh and I just saw a video of myself, someone made it with PE today when we had to show something and I realised I really can't dance, while I do think it's fun. I would just fall a million times, sadly. Otherwise I could've asked my parents if I can go to some dance practise stuff again, I guess I could make Dennis proud then...  Anyway it's so weird to see myself then, like really really really weird. And that reminded me, I weigh about 57 kg now, so I lost 2 kg and at first I didn't even understand that, until I reminded myself I ate less in the past days. You know, sometimes we have a short day in school, so I don't take much food with me, and sometimes I don't even eat it when I do take food with me.
Also, I'm jealous of Joy. She's going on this date with Colin on Friday, and Colin is planning on asking Joy if she wants to be his girlfriend and it's actually really sweet. But it's weird to think that I have a boyfriend, and that we've never been on a date, and maybe we'll never go on a date. In any case, I want him to stay in my life. Just not as 'the guy who left me', but you get my point. Oh but I did suggest a double-date, so Dennis should be prepared for someone who is really hyper, and... Colin is fine, I guess. I don't even really know him, but I mean he's not hyper. And he hugged Joy in a really sweet way today and I got so so soooo jealous because I want that too. Even though right now it should be the other way around and I should be the one hugging Dennis.