He answered! ;o

Right when I gave up, Nicola replied to me on FaceBook. I thought he wouldn't reply. First I mailed him on Gmail, later I decided to mail him on FaceBook, cause I can see when he's been on FaceBook, and I can't see when he read my mail on Gmail. And about 3 hours ago, he replied to me. I really totally gave up on it, and then I came home, on my phone it said that someone from Loano 2 Village invited me to an event, and usually it'll say when I got a new mail on Gmail and when someone mailed me something on FaceBook, but it didn't say so now. Then I went on FaceBook and I saw I had a message, and I was like, "Oh, Luzzie probably said something to me. Or maybe it'll show the last message Loes sent me yesterday night". But no, it wasn't Loes or Luzzie, IT WAS NICOLA. ;o
I was so happy I had to cry. Now my head hurts, but still, I'm so super happy right now. I don't know if I should reply.
This is what I sent him;

• • Hey, I'm that girl with the tall brother and I asked you for a hug. I was wondering if you'd like to talk to me? I actually wanted to talk to you when I was in Loano 2 Village, but I was too shy. And my brother won the soccer competition and he asked you for the picture that was made with his team. Greetings, Linda

I explained who I am since I know he'll meet many more people in Loano 2 Village.
This is what he replied;
I remember of you and the request of your brother... To reply you: yes, I'd like to talk to you, but, unfortunately, I didn't have the time to reply you in the past weeks because of the full time job  Today it's my last day and I have a little minute before the café game...
With the picture I'm sorry, but I can't help you because Graziana says they are for sponsor-use only  Best wishes, Nicola

SMILEYS c:

I'm just so happy right now. ^.^

Thank you so much for replyiiing, even though I know he won't read this. xD

Laughing all the time.

Lately, I'm laughing about stuff, even when it isn't funny. x) It's really... Weird... Yeah, weird. And just now, I saw a picture AND I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING. xD
So, for those who don't remember who Nicola, the Italian boy I think I love, is, this is the picture with me and him;

And here, you should look at his face;

And if you can't see it too good, here's the link;

http://a1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/472190_4133276824669_1634016435_o.jpg

LOL I can't stop laughing now. xD I don't think many people think it's that funny, though. :c BUT STILL. x)

Sweet goodbyes.

So this weekend, I searched up for All My Life from Krezip, because I really wanted to sing it in school, but my music teacher said it's too high for our class, probably. So I searched it up, because I wasn't sure how high it was, so yeah. I can't reach all notes, lol, but oh well, it's still fun to sing. ^^ But then I saw I Would Stay, from Krezip, so I clicked on it and started to sing along. Then I saw Sweet Goodbyes. About two years ago, I sung it together with my friend. The low notes were hard to get right for me back then, so were the high notes, but now I can reach 'em all. ^^ The song got me in tears just now, though. I mean, I did sing along - nobody's upstairs, no one will hear me, so why should I care? And I just got this new Italian friend on FB - yeah, I'm trying to add all the guys from the animation team from Loano 2 Village. It appears that 2 of them (Nicola and Rosario) 'recognized' me. lol, Okay, I think Nicola just knew it because my profile picture is the picture with him. xD And Rosario... I don't know... Maybe he just knew it because of that picture, too? But anyway, I tagged him about 2 hours ago in my picture, because he accepted my friend request. And when I was in the middle of the song Sweet Goodbyes, he liked the picture. It kinda got a smile on my face. Like, I'm not totally forgotten. I'm not totally friendless, he liked the picture. xD And have I said it yet, about Nicola? Well, I have two pictures with him, I tagged him on one. Then later, I tagged him on the other picture, too, with in the description; "He seemed nice. ^.^" and one of his friends liked the picture. xD Oh well... I just hope we can go back there next year...

Never ending story.

We're part of the story, part of the tale. We're all on this journey. No one is to stay. Where ever it's going, what is the way? We're part of the story, part of the tale. Sometimes beautiful, sometimes insane. No one remembers how it began.

I love that song. *-* It's pretty true. No one is to stay; Everything and everyone will die at a point. Sometimes it's beautiful, sometimes it's insane. And no one remembers how it began. We don't really know what happened in the past. We have history as a school subject, but can we really conclude it was a fact? I don't think we can. Besides, we have no idea when it began. We started counting in 1 (0 doesn't exist so ya xD), but it's really not that the earth came there right when we started counting. And it's a never ending story. No one knows when it will end, or if it'll end at all. Maybe the humans will die out, but it doesn't mean the end of the earth. And who says it's about the earth only? There's always something that exists. Always.

I remember I used to think of that a lot when I was younger. "What if I die? What will happen then? How would it be if I'd be an animal? Or a pet? Would a tree see the world the same? Is this all even real? Is this possible?" I really had a thousand questions. I'm no longer concentrating on them, though.

And I did it. I really feel relieved. And thank you, Dennis. :) Thanks to you it was a lot easier.
So, I'm single again. Yup. I feel free. But Dennis will always have a special place in my heart, so, thank you for the amazing time we had. ;)
Okay that really sounds like a goodbye. IT'S NOT. o.O

I've made a decision.

It was super hard, but now I'm just 100% sure. :S And the hardest part is yet to come. Wish me luck.
And the chance that we're going back to Loano 2 Village next year is very big. :D Yesterday it came up again. We were talking about my piano and voice lessons, my mom said it costed 900 euros and then she said "We could even buy a vacation for that. Not long, but we could". I was like "Loano 2 Village for one day" in a sarcastic way. Then she was like "A few more days than that". So I was like "How much did 9 days cost, then?" and then she was like "We payed 2000 euros for it". And then she was like "but the sooner you book for when you're going, the cheaper it is. It still depends on when you're going, and we don't want to go too early."
TADAAAH, means the chance is bigger, because she's kinda already planning. Because she said something like "We don't want to go too early in the vacation, we still have to decide when we'd be going then". BAM. Awesum. :D Now I just gotta wait for my mom and dad to officially say "We're going back to Loano 2 Village for two weeks this time" and then my year can't break anymore. We're going back to Loano, my teachers (only not my PE teacher) are great, I'm getting voice ÁND piano lessons, I'm in class with a friend of mine, I dare to say things earlier than before, and whenever I've got a problem, there are enough people I can go to to talk to. :)
Well isn't that awesome? :D Now if only my computer will react good again, my year will be awesome. xD

Homework and daydreaming.

I have lots and lots of homework for Monday. ;-; Pfft, school just started and I already have that much homework... For tomorrow I only have one thing, though, that's "Taking activity book B with me for geography". Yup, indeed, we're starting off with activity book B and when that's done, we go to activity book A. Logic, right? But my geography teacher is kinda cool. I have quite a lot teachers now who are like "We need to work in class, of course, but I don't want to be so super strict. So if you whisper a bit to your neighbor, then that's fine. Just be sure you do follow what I say." Which is really cool. That means we can talk in class, as long as we know when we can talk a bit and when we have to work. :D Awesome teachers~
And I'm daydreaming almost every second of the day. I don't know why, but even when I try daydreaming about my old school or something, all that comes in my daydreams is Loano Due Village. Really, it's the only thing I can think of. And it makes making homework and concentrating VERY hard. :/ I just miss Loano Due Village. :(
And I'm thinking about learning Italian. It might not be an easy language, though... I guess it's kinda like French? I'm quite good at French, but I'm not too awesome at it... But there was this site I was on a few months ago and there you could learn languages for free. I just don't remember what the site's called. I'm not sure if I have any mails of it anymore. :S
Actually, if I'd really want to work at Loano Due Village, it means I'll need to speak fluently Italian, English and good German and French. And then Dutch just makes the chance bigger that they'd want me. xD But I'm too young anyway. I can't move to Italy, at least not on my own and I don't speak Italian either. Or, not yet. ;)

Why must I fall in love with an Italian guy?

Why me? Why an Italian guy? Why? Screw my life. Really, I'm crying like an idiot right now. I miss Italy. I miss Loano. I miss Loano Due Village. And last but not least, I miss Nicola. I just want to go back. Right now. Just going there straight away and coming there tomorrow around 8 and then be able to enjoy my time again. Now all I want to do is killing time. I just saw two new pictures on FB and Nicola got tagged, and I just had to cry...

I just miss Italy so much. And I so much regret not joining any activities and especially not talking to Nicola.

Really, if I could go back in time, I would have talked to Nicola since the first time I saw him. I would have joined activities. I would have done anything I didn't do. I hate myself.

I just need someone to listen now. Someone who will listen to all I've got to say. Just so I can let it out. And not through Internet for once. But the problem is, my so-called friend are sick of me, talking about Italy. My psychologist is on vacation and I don't have the feeling I can tell her everything. My parents.. I don't want them to see me cry. And all they'll tell me anyway is "Well who says he'll be working there next year? If he's the only reason you want to go back there, we won't go." And then it'll all be ruined. And then there's one person left, I guess. My teacher. Well, he's not exactly my teacher anymore. But the problem is; He's the only one who wouldn't mind listening to all I've got to say, I guess, but first of all he hasn't got all the time. Secondly he has never seen me cry.. I kinda think it's awkward... And the third thing is, he'll tell my mom I talked to him. I don't know if my mom's going to be happy about that. :/ 

Another song that reminds me of Italy.

Seems like I'm finding each song back. :) So there, you had 'Balada'. I didn't know the name of it, but you can find it on youtube when you search for 'Tche Tche Tere', but I searched for Gusttavo Lima. Well, actually for 'Gustavo Lima', but now I know it's Gusttavo Lima. xD But anyway, I heard Balada in Italy, so it really reminds me of that disco night. Then you have 'Ai Se Eu Te Pego'. Well, I knew the name of that song. And then you have Danza Kuduro. I didn't know the name of the song or singer, so I couldn't find it. Yesterday I heard it at school and I asked my friend what it's called and yesterday night she texted me back, so I really thank her, because those songs are pretty much the only thing that really remind me of how much I want to go back. Okay, my mom still has that bracelet, I still have pictures, so does my brother, and then I also dream a lot about Loano Due Village (yup... Going to call it that way now xD). But... Those dreams are really vague.. o.O I mean, they're quite fun, but vague... And I have no idea where that bracelet from my mom is. And those pictures... Okay, that... House... -ish... Thing... That really made me go outside, like, it made me want to do fun things. Yeah, fun things instead of sitting in my room, thinking I actually love sitting behind the computer, but it's just to kill time. So the pictures of that room will remind me how it pushed me outside the house, so I finally would do something fun. :) And then the pictures of the swimming pool remind me how fun and awesome that swimming pool was. The pictures with the people from the staff will remind me how awesome and friendly the staff was. But those songs will bring me back right to the disco night. It's just.. Super fresh in my head, the disco night. It's like it happened yesterday night, really, and I don't have that a lot. The magic of music. <3

It's hard to keep it dry.

I went to my psychologist today, and I was talking about Italy and I could hardly keep it dry. I mean, I managed to keep it dry, but it was hard. And she wanted to talk to my mom, and I think that she talked longer to my mom than to me. o.O It really took a while, but when I was waiting I did get some chocolate. :D Nice, nice boy. And when we were done I was like "So, where were you talking about?" lol. And my mom was like "Well we talked about this thing.. Yeah, at the end of the year there will be a group of 4 girls and your psychologist asked if you maybe wanted to join". So I was like "Eh..." and then my mom was like "They talk about stuff like love and problems and how you deal with them". And then I was like "Well, no.. Pff, love..." And my mom was like "not ONLY love". And then I was like "Yeah, and then you fall in love with an Italian guy" (yeah, my mom first wasn't sure if I really loved him. Today I just made it clear, I really think I fell in love with Nicola xD) and so my mom was like "There are no guys. Or Italian guys. Only girls from your age".
Well my mom doesn't know I'm bisexual. lol. xD But then I was like "But you said they talk about love". So she was like, "Yeah, but not only love." and I was like "But they DO talk about it, and guess what, I fell in love with an Italian guy" so she was like "Yeah and how do you deal with it?" Pff, then I had to think. xD So I was like "I don't deal with it." and then she wondered what I thought of Dutch guys. Dutch guys. Idiots. They think they're 'all'. They're stupid and selfish. I hate most Dutch guys. It could be because most of them aren't really... Mature.. I mean, Nick is really mature yet very fun (he's really nice. I don't love him, but he's reaaaally nice ;) ).

Thank you.

‎"If you take a chance in life, sometimes good things happen, sometimes bad things happen. But honey, if you dont take a chance nothing happens."

Thank you Amy Lee. She just posted this on Facebook. It's true...

Making a hard decision.

When I was on vacation in Italy, there was something I realized. I realized it thanks to my brother's new friend Nick, who is very nice and who lives nearby, and thanks to that Italian guy, Nicola. I can't really say yet what I realized, but I'll post it in a week or so. I just don't want to hurt people indirectly. I don't like hurting people at all, but well...
But now I have to make a decision, and it's kinda hard... Pff.. D: I think... I already know what I'm going to do, I just don't know how yet.

I'm not who you think I am.

So, today; First school day. I totally made the wrong impression. I was laughing all the time and smiling and all, but I wasn't happy at all. I was far from happy. I miss the vacation so badly right now. And I still have to wait til tomorrow 5 PM till I can talk to my psychologist.
So I thought about it. If I told her all that there was to say about my vacation, in details (which she'll need if she wants to understand me), then I'd need 50 minutes. I only have 60 minutes AKA one hour the time. dfhklsdah. And then I need to tell her about school, too. Damn. So then I'll need at least a full hour, probably even longer. And at the end she wants to talk to my mom, too. Damn. I just... I want to tell her about my vacation. The things that there are to say about school can wait. I don't feel horrible or happy because of school. But Italy... There's so much to say. It can't wait any longer. Really, it can't. I need to get it out asap. :/

I just realized it.

I thought about that joke I said earlier.. I think it was "Why was six afraid of seven? Seven ate nine". I'm not sure now, though. o.O
And I'm super tired. But when I try to sleep I can't fall asleep anyway. I'm nervous for tomorrow. Why even? :/

"Sexy"

Okay, first of all, what's up with my blog titles lately? Secondly, there's this song from Gusttavo Lima called "O Amor Não Foi Feito Pra Dividir" (what the heck does it mean?) and in the chorus there's a word that reminds me of Italy, because in Italy, when I was at the disco, I heard a song, which I believe was Italian or Spanish or Portuguese, but I don't remember it clearly. But anyway, in that song the guy sung "Sexy". I really want to know the name of that song, but I don't know any of the lyrics, only that little part. :/ I hate it when that happens. D:

I just remembered some sort of joke.

"Why was nine afraid of seven? Seven ate nine". Haha. So funny (sarcastic, obviously). For those who don't get it, seven ate nine. 7 8 9. It's about the way you pronounce 'ate'. It's so logic. Why do I even bother explaining it?
Okay, so tomorrow I have school again. Can't wait. Wow, I'm in a sarcastic mood. I just hope I can make friends. I just hope that there won't be people who make fun of me. But what I hope the most, is that there's no one from my old class in my new class. Only Nienke, then.
And it's warm in the Netherlands. I wouldn't expect that. It's 38 degrees Celsius. Weird. If I heard that, I'd be like "In the Netherlands? Haha, shut up."
But anyway, I'm going to continue play sudoku and being bored. Gotta try to forget about this stupid feeling. But, the background of my phone right now is a picture of Nicola. Haha, I'm so stupid. Seriously. Okay, his smile makes me happy. But he reminds me of Loano 2 Village, and I really miss it. So it's like, the picture makes me happy, yet sad. :/

It hurts.

I thought I kinda got over it, but I miss Italy like hell again. I want to go back so badly. How the hell am I going to survive school if I constantly feel like crying because I miss Italy so much? I hate this. :( I hope I won't feel like this for the whole year.. Gosh.. I wouldn't like that at all. :( I just want to be 100% sure that we're going back to Loano 2 Village next year, maybe I'd still have to cry because I miss it so much, but then I'd at least know that we're going back there next year.

"I look like a handsome guy"

So I decided to look at Nicola's FB page just to check if he had any new pictures, and I just saw that he had commented on a picture from him that someone placed on his page, and he said "I look like an handsome guy... Ahah, great photographer, thank you!"
So all I could think was "Dude.. You ARE handsome". And then I realized he wrote that 12 hours ago. TWELVE HOURS AGO. THAT'S RIGHT WHEN I FELL ASLEEP.

And I only had 7 hours of sleep. I couldn't sleep at first, and then I finally fell asleep and then I woke up at 7. School is starting Monday, but I don't need to wake up at 7 already. D: I'll have to wake up at 7 on Wednesday, and from then on I'll have to wake up at 7 each day.

Back to school.

Yup, my Summer break is over. I have school again Monday. Honestly, in the beginning of the Summer break I missed school and I really wanted to go back. Then I went to Italy, then I didn't want the Summer break to end, and now I don't really know it anymore.. I finally won't be that bored anymore, but I don't like school either. I just hope my class is nice. Same for my mentor. I have a maths mentor, AGAIN. I just hope he won't be as stupid as my last mentor. That I can trust him. Really, that's all I'm asking for.
And I checked Nicola's fb page, and guess what I saw, A PICTURE AND HE SMILED. Okay. So I love his smile. :D I kinda think it's cute. And I saw that he has got a sixpack. ;o I already saw that when I found him on fb, but I just wanted to say he's got a sixpack. xD I either saw that when I was in Italy, though. It looks quite cool. ;o
And my life is complicated. About Nicola, on one side I want him to work at Loano 2 Village, like, that he really gets the job, and not just for a month. But on the other side, that'd mean I can only talk to him on Saturdays, probably, and not for long.
I think I'd like it more if he'll work there, because then, if we're going back there next year, he'll be there, and since I have him on fb and I asked him for a hug it shouldn't be that hard to get a conversation with him. :)

And there's a bigger chance that we're going back now. I have a stupid memory so I don't remember if I already said this, but my mom pretty much only has got tankini's because she doesn't feel comfortable in bikini's, only at home. But yesterday my mom bought a bikini, and she was like "Now we have to go back to Loano 2 Village next year" so I was like "Em.. And why, exactly?" and she was like "Because there I did feel comfortable with a bikini, and I don't feel comfortable in a bikini anywhere else but at home.. And there now, too". So yay. And she actually was wearing a tankini there, but she made a bikini of it. xD I don't know how to explain it, but this means the chance is bigger, which actually calms me down. That makes me happy. It means I won't have to survive a full year with this stupid feeling. We mostly choose where we're going to and if we're going in January. Now guess what. This year went really fast, and now I'm thinking of it;
It's August. In September it'll be Autumn, right? That's next month. Next month there will be quite a lot new TV shows, and I'll have school again so time will go fast and I have enough to do so I can kill time. And then we have November, another new TV show will start then, then we've got October (not really special for me, I guess), and then it's December. Got any idea how fast that month can go by?
I'll have a test week then, I'll be free on the 6th of December (Sinterklaas), then we've got my dad's birthday,  the vacation AND Christmas, then we've got New Year and then we're in 2013. And guess what, then we're in January. The month that we'll plan where we're going to. :D

Loving Gusttavo Lima

I don't truly love Gustavo Lima or something, I don't have a crush on him at all. But the song Balada is pretty much the only song that sounds happy that I know. So just now I got his album and it's pretty awesome. I have no idea what he sings, but his songs cheer me up. Balada is my favourite, though, but still, the other songs are pretty amazing too. Thanks a lot, Gustavo Lima, even though I have no idea what he sings, his songs sound happy. I barely know any happy songs, but thanks to Gustavo Lima I know more happy songs.. Well, they sound happy. ^.^ Now I actually want to go somewhere far away. By car, of course. I just want to go on vacation again. Maybe not back to Italy, but just.. Somewhere far away. So I can listen to his songs when I'm in the car. Of course I rather go back to Italy right now, but still... My parents don't really talk to me when we're riding in the car when we're going on vacation, which is awesome, because then they don't really complain about me.

Loving, yet hating music.

I love music, really. I can't live without music. The first thing I do when I wake up (pretty much at any time) is listening to music. I need to start my day with music, pretty much. It's not like my day will be horrible if I don't, but it'll be better if I start with music.

But now, since everything I hear reminds me of Italy, I kinda hate music. I don't want to feel this way for a full year. I don't want to wait to go back to Italy, I want to go back right now. I would do anything for it. I just want to go back. I don't want to feel this way. I've never missed anything this much. D:

What did just happen?

I wanted to edit my blog and now it's being all weird? What even? o.O All my post from this month changed into my post called "Why am I so stupid?", only the title stayed the same. It's super weird. o.O Seriously, what did I do?

Why am I so stupid?

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

Feeling helpful

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

I should stop watching bloopers.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

Which day is it?

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

2 days to go.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

Packing my bags.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

And then you fall in love.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

I missed singing.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

Why do they keep bringing me down?

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

They told me to not let it ruin my vacation.

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.

Why am I so stupid?

I keep listening to songs that make me cry. I keep singing songs that make me cry. I'm so stupid. Who'd even do that? And why am I so sensitive? Why can't I just get over things? I realized I have no reasons to dislike my life, but I just can't enjoy life. I'd even think I've cried more in my life than that I smiled. And I've got no calm place where I can go just to cry. I mean, I can cry in my room, but my parents will be complaining about how I lock myself up in my room. I just need time to get over you, breaking me down, my dear parents. So either stop bringing me down or shut the hell up about me, locking myself up. Because it's all thanks to you. And thanks to me since I just can't take it, but still.
But even so, even my room isn't a calm place to cry. My parents could come in any time, and I can't cry around 6-7 because around then we'll have dinner, and then they could see I cried. :/ And then they'll ask me why, but sometimes I just can't explain. And it's really annoying if I come downstairs right after crying and then I gotta join a conversation, well forget it.