Alright just let me point this out

I do not exactly wish to die because of what happened. I just still wish every single day that this is just a fucked up nightmare and that I'll wake up soon, knowing you're still there. I swear to God this is driving me crazy and there's no one I can talk to. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't keep up with school, I can't take care of myself anymore and I don't even know how or when or why all of that happened. But you know what makes all of this even weirder? The only one who showed they cared about me, was my German teacher. Not even my mentor or my friends or family.

I just have to say this somewhere

Something is really bothering me, but I don't know who to tell it to, so I guess I'll just write it here for now.
Just a moment ago, I had a... Well, I had some some sort of 'attack'. It's nothing bad, really. But I realised what all I've lost. I've lost pretty much everything I cared about.
For example, my hamster was my life, but I didn't take good care of it so it died and I'm still in denial. Same thing with my guinea pigs. Also, I loved my relationship, but I never really showed it, and now it's gone. Also I had this great friend but instead of showing her I support her, I didn't show her I was there for her so I lost her. And now, I'm about to lose my home as well, unless my mom decides she's fine with having me live here.