Bored

Hooow weird, I'm bored again. So, apparently we have homework for art class - Dear teacher, I'm sorry, I didn't know and I don't really care either. And stop pretending to like me, you hated me last year. Okay, she had all rights to do that, I was the most lazy person in the world when it came to homework and what not, but now our school has new rules so yeah, I don't want to have to go to school till 5 pm every day.
But okay, yeah, I'm bored as hell. And I don't really know how I feel, like.. Okay, yesterday I felt like shit, then I tried to call my boyfriend several times so I also got to know that calling to Germany costs one euro per minute. And that sucks, because I only have two euros left on my phone. So no calling to Germany, goddamnit. T_T
Okay and... I have nothing to tell. Oh well, I thought I had to talk to the psychologist of my school again today at 15.10, but apparently that was next week, and yeah that sucks. I mean, I don't really tell him stuff, I don't like him. But yeah, I had to wait for like 30 minutes and then I had to hear he didn't expect me to come because I had to come the next week. Also, my schedule changed, and I have school till 16.00 on Tuesday now and that sucks too, because I used to have only 5 hours on Tuesday and jhfskedfjel stupid school. Okay I'm fine. No, I'm not. I couldn't help myself yesterday either. I was feeling.. I wanted to say 'I was feeling funny' but it wasn't that funny. At all. Just for me at that point because I couldn't be serious. Never take two painkillers within one hour, it's weird. It was weird for me. Anyway, then something happened and it was kinda like I just.. Broke inside or something? Or I exploded, I don't know, but I couldn't help myself and just wanted to hurt myself right when I thought things could be fine again. It sucks to feel like shit, but I guess most people agree with that. I just want that to end, all of it. I'm tired of living like this, everything just sucks. Okay, maybe not everything. I don't live in a dangerous city, my parents don't beat me up, we're not broke, I get to go to school and actually learn stuff, music exists (awesome), and the best thing of my life is something I never expected. I always thought I would die alone, you know. Maybe with a dog or something, but I always thought I'd be forever alone. People just don't like me, maybe it's because I'm different. I'm not pretty, I don't wear layers of makeup, I don't have a sweet voice, I'm not that much into fashion, I don't have talents. I would never see why someone would love me. But someone does, and it's weird. I put him through so much, I can't even give him sleep, I don't give him any freedom, and yet he stays with me. I don't know how he does that, how he survives with me, I only feel like I'm destroying his life. But there's one thing I know for sure: No matter what happens, I will always love him, and he's the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Dennis, if you read this: I love you a lot and I really don't want to lose you. I want to spend my life with you.
And you know... Sometimes you just have to appreciate things in life. Things will not always go the way you want them to go. Things won't be perfect, and you will make mistakes. But you're the only one who can make your life the way you want it to be. You can learn from your mistakes and improve them instead of being sad about it. That's not going to make anything better anyway.