So I'm crying my eyes out

About Monday, yes, I went crazy. I had someone to talk me out of my suicide plans (it weren't special plans so yeah) so it's all fine now.
But I have a different problem now. So Dennis is going to Rastede, and my plan is to watch a video about it and I wanted to try and find someone near me who likes medieval music.
Anyway, right now I feel like shit. So now I have some time to think about my relationship with Dennis and he mainly has 4 days without me, in which he could also find out if he really misses me or not. Now I'm a bit worried he'd meet someone with who he has a lot more in common, but that's not my biggest worry. After all, having a lot in common doesn't mean you love each other. I'm mainly worrying about the fact that he might not miss me that much and then there's nothing I can do about it. I guess I'm worried about that because on a normal day he doesn't exactly have any time to miss me, but that could also be because there's not so much to miss and I'm afraid that last thing is the case. I just don't want that, I don't want this to be the end. I don't want to wait for 4 days to hear he didn't miss me all that much, but you know what would suck? If that thought would kill me, and he'd realise he misses me a lot and then come back and I'm gone. That would suck, so I have no choice but to wait... I do hope he'll have a good time though... Maybe I can find someone to comfort me.