This sounds very weird, I know. If you see me, all you really see is just a pretty tall girl (ey I do have to point it out at least once :P 1.75m by the way, it might not seem all that tall, but to most people, I look tall. At least in this town) who barely talks and when I do, I turn red. Okay not always, but most of the time. And I might shut down then. ._. Anyways that is pretty much what you see, a shy girl who might as well look as if she's only wishing to be invisible. But boy, if you're in my mind, you know what I wish to be, and what I really am. I mean the me I am in my mind is the real me, but nobody sees that. It's more like that part of me is stuck inside of my mind and can only live on the internet for the time being.
So this morning I was just listening to music, and there was this song and it sounded so happy, so in my head I started dancing and blablabla and in real life I'd never do that. And I love daydreaming, I usually daydream when I listen to music and when I listen to metal, I usually imagine being at a metal festival (goddamnit I would love to go to Graspop Metal Meeting) and with medieval music I imagine being at a medieval festival. So the last one was the case, and I kinda imagined having to work there and then this song came and like we started dancing and trying to make kids dance too and then somewhere there was this shy girl sitting with her mom and I decided to ask her to come and join us and she was so cute (but okay, it's my mind. I can even make nice Dutch guys there *surprise*) and now I just sit here like 'meh, I wish I was good with kids'. Well not only that, I wish I was extrovert. That I could have a conversation with anyone. But no. ._. I really don't know how to change that. Well I kinda do: I could go and work somewhere. I mean if I do something for a while, I can get used to it, meaning I could get used to random people talking to me, and randomly talking to others. But well, then I first need to find the right job for me.
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