Liar.

It's all I can bring out now. 'Liar'.
Everything I hear, everything I read, everything I say or everything I've ever said, it all feels like a big lie. It feels like my life's a sick joke. Like I never was meant to born, like I should've died when I already was brought to life or just a few days, weeks, months or years ago. It's like I shouldn't exist. Like what good do I even bring to the world? Bring it in balance, so there aren't only positive people in the world? There are already a thousand other people who are damn negative. In the past days, all I've done was really crawling into a corner and cry.
I've bought the newest album of Evanescence today. Just a few minutes ago, I tried to sing along, but then I noticed that the song could almost be about me.
"Run away, run away," how I'd love to, "one day we won't feel this pain anymore" how I want that day to be today.
Either the chorus.
"I have nothing left," everything's being taken away from me, "And all I feel is this cruel wanting," too true, "we've been falling for all this time," I have been falling for so long.
It got me totally in tears AGAIN. I want to crawl into a corner again and cry, but I can't. I don't know why, I just can't. I'd rather just leave the house now and walk somewhere where no one will ever find me, and slowly die there. Forget about the pain I've ever had, hoping people will see what all this pain could just do, it's eating me inside. I just can't take this anymore. I don't know what to do, I really don't. Lately I've had a lot of dreams with myself dying in them. Most of them had people laughing in it, because I was dying. I know a dream isn't reality, but it just makes me feel like it's so true, that they'd be so happy about me, dying, in pain.