Okay fuck everything now

I would love to stab myself right now. Oh but not to kill myself, sometimes I have this feeling and I would love to stab it but then I'd have to stab myself so yeah. But I'm serious, it doesn't have so much to do with dying.
And now I want to cry my eyes out because guess what, yes yes I did it, I managed to make someone mad at me again. Fuck everything. I do not understand why others can't see why I don't like myself.