It just sucks that right now is like almost the worst time. Wait no, 4 am would be the worst time. Imagine you have to get up between 5 and 6 and then someone wakes you up at 4. Well I can already tell you you won't fall asleep anymore then, and before you know it, you have to get up already while you're tired as hell because you could really use that hour.
But I just want to apologise because I kinda overreacted again (I don't just mean on the internet, I freaked out in real life, uh well, for as far it's possible). I don't want you to be here just to calm me down. What I want is for us to have fun together, to have great times together. To be there for each other when the other needs it, but not in the way that you just sit there, hugging. More in the way that if the other cries, or is terribly sad, that you hug for as long as the other wants and then go and do something fun together to cheer up. Because not so many things are worse than seeing the one you love sad, right now I feel like I'm in a circle again: I got sad, so you're unhappy because I'm sad, so I feel worse which makes it all worse.
I want to be there for you when you need me. I want to be happy with you, I want to laugh with you, I want to have fun with you, I want to do great things with you. Things you or/and I always wanted to do. I don't care what it is, I would do anything for you. And I'm sorry that I don't show that often enough, that I don't show often enough how much I love you and how happy you make me.
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