Right now, it just feels as if I can't do anything at all. And that everything I do, every decision I make, that it's all wrong. Like nothing in my life ever went right. I wish I could just start all over again. I would do things differently, I would try to make the best out of life. And I see it now, I never tried to get the best of it. I totally ruined it. I made myself an internet-addicted girl who doesn't have any real friends and who rarely ever comes outside. I totally screwed it all up.
Also, I cry a lot lately. I just miss Nicola so much, and I miss Loano 2 Village so freaking much. God... If I could, I'd just ask my parents if we could move away, to Italy. There's no chance we will, though. Especially not since we changed the living room a bit again. God, I just want to leave this freaking stupid country. Sorry to those who love the Netherlands, but it just feels as if I don't belong here. And if I'd move away, there wouldn't be anything I'd miss anyway. Yeah, maybe the house, that's it. Nothing more.
And it really feels as if I lost my best friend. Luzzie never talks to me anymore and I bet she doesn't read my blog anymore, too. We used to talk so much, and now it's just over. What did I do? What did I do that made you erase me from your life? Did you ever like me at all?
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