Knowing how it feels to be homesick.

I miss Italy so much... And I just realized something. I've never missed a place this much. That's not the only thing. I've never really felt home in the Netherlands. Even worse, I never felt home in my own home.. But in Italy, in Loano... I felt home.. For the very first time I actually felt amazing and it felt like I could do anything, I just didn't realize it until the last 2 days. The last time I cried this hard, was when we had to leave Italy. Before that, I've only cried this hard once. In 2006. So in my entire life, I've only cried this hard 3 times. One of my friends once came over. For the first time we'd have a sleepover at my house. But she was homesick and in the middle of the night, my mom brought her home. I never understood "being homesick". I thought I'd never know how it feels to be homesick, because when I stayed at someone else's place... Fine, maybe I didn't feel home, but I didn't miss my own home or anything. But now I understand how it feels to be homesick.

In a dictionary, they explain the word as "Longing to return home", and with home they either mean your house, or your birthplace. I don't have any connections to Italy, I wasn't born there, I never lived there, I've only been there 3 times by now. The first two times I didn't feel right there. All I could think the first time was "I hope there are no bears around here". I also got a black eye that year. The second year wasn't really special, either. But this year was just amazing.. Now I miss Italy so much. I keep crying so hard.. It's giving me a headache, RIGHT when it was over... I think this is how it feels to be homesick...