Crying.

Lately, I haven't cried a lot. But when I cried, it was either about Loano 2 or Nicola, and when I cried, I cried hard. As in, really hard. And now again. I just wanted to check Nicola's pictures, again... And I was listening to "Trying not to love you" from Nickelback, and then I suddenly started crying. I kinda have the feeling that I'm trying not to love Nicola... I know he'll never love me anyway, I barely expect him to even like me a little bit as a friend... I wish I was Loano 2 right now, and that I had met Nicola last year or something, and that he'd be there now. Then I'd come to him, even if anyone could see now that I've cried, and then I'd just ask him what he thinks about me. I'd ask him if he sees me as a friend. And if he would be a real friend, I'm sure he'd ask me what's wrong, since my face shows I just cried - I'm actually still crying - and this may sound weird, but I'd actually get happy if he'd ask me what's wrong. Facebook isn't loading for me right now, though, and I don't really feel like bothering Nicola now... Besides, he doesn't know me THAT well. And I've got my doubts, should I really ask him what he thinks of me? It's the only way to figure it out, right? Or is there another way? I don't know it anymore. All I know is that all I can do now is crying and all I want to do now is to hug Nicola. I just wish I could come over in the Winter or something, so we could go snowboarding. No, I've never done that before, but it seems really interesting to me and Nicola told me he liked snowboarding, so he could teach me, I guess. :P I just wish I could see him right now... Even if it would be through a webcam, I don't care, I just want to see him. :(